JOHNMICHAEL SIMON POETRY

Six merry chimpanzees went to a dance

dressed in purple shirts that they bought last year in France

they wore bellboy hats and liquorice pants

and ate banana marzipan while balancing on their hands

 

A pair of waltzing ostriches frowned at them from high

a careful camel moved aside while straightening his tie

a Doberman and a Dachshund exchanged disgusted glances

and muttered, they should ban these apes from coming to our dances

 

Twelve performing fleas who were sleeping in the rug

climbed up on the chimps’ backs and gave their ears a tug

then the chimps started scratching and jumping even faster

and they fell into a bowl of punch which caused a right disaster

 

Two cumbersome hippos who’d been waiting for a drink

got punch all down their trousers, which turned a frightful pink

they backed away so suddenly they bumped into a boar

who upset a cabbage salad which fell straight onto the floor

 

A lazy goat who up till then was sitting in the corner

saw the lady hippo slipping and shouted out to warn her

she turned away but then she stumbled on a piece of slaw

and sat down on two turtles who were coming in the door

 

The disc jockey, a walrus, shouted, come on now my hearties,

let’s all join in and make tonight the best of swimming parties

so fill your glasses to the top and let’s all drink a toast

to the wettest dancing party that’s ever graced this coast

 

No sooner said than done, a grinning beaver grabbed a bucket

and threw the contents at the DJ, who deftly tried to duck it

and two brown kangaroos who were sitting on the sofa flirting

were suddenly surprised to get a strawberry milkshake squirting

 

The chimps then got excited and jumped on the chandelier

and started hosing everyone with foamy ginger beer

and some rabbits who really got fed up of being spashed and sprayed

filled a tub and had a lovely swim in lukewarm lemonade

 

And as the night went on, the party kept on getting wetter

which made the jovial DJ feel that life couldn’t be better

for all the sloppy, watery mess, the gurgling commotion

made the walrus feel quite back at home inside the heaving ocean